Trying to be still

”Be still and know I am God.” -Psalms 46:10

Anyone that knows me KNOWS I’m high energy. I don’t stay still for long and I lack patience. My job requires me to constantly run full speed and then I come home to my beautiful family & run some more. Making myself stop & be still often makes me crazy inside. I’ve been trying a new routine in my life & a huge factor is prayer. I’ve (most mornings) tried to start my day by waking up before my kids and taking a moment to sit in peace. I pray and read my devotional and try  to empty my mind of all the things ahead and just  “be still”. I’m the kind of woman that runs herself all day & then at night lies awake (as my husband snores peacefully🙄) and thinks of all that needs done the next day. I know better than anyone that this leads to exhaustion & anxiety. Does this help me to be a better mom or a better wife or nurse? Sitting in the morning drinking my coffee in the still, watching my kids laugh, love and play and seeing my husband come home & join our family after work always warms my soul. I need to sit & enjoy these thing and these people more.
My kids are pretty much the greatest humans on the planet. Don’t get me wrong, they push my buttons but there truly isn’t any greater joy than what they bring to me. We pray  at night after baths are done & teeth are brushed. We all pile into our giant bed that’s still too small for all of us. Together our family prays for each other, strangers, family & friends. There’s sweet giggles as we listen to our youngest learn to pray. His innocents & focus always amazes me even though he’s only three. He prays for people but mostly he takes his time & tells God about his day. Stories that sometimes go on and on. He teaches me not only patience but to be still. To pray to my God like no one else is waiting for me & no one and nothing else matters. To pray like a three year old is my new goal.
To all the moms that know too well where they lack. Look at your children & see how good you’re doing. Give yourself grace like your innocent child do. Pray more and join me in the morning when the house is quiet and God is listening and waiting for us to open our hearts and lives and be still.

With love,
Jess

In the Life

As any mother does, despite having 1 or 10 kids, I lie here thinking of all I didn’t do & wasn’t today. Why do we do that to ourselves? I wasn’t patient, I didn’t check off all my to dos & I didn’t make every meal (honestly we ate out two of the three) & it was a Sunday! My day started out waking up late for church. Rushing to get five little people out the door on time & I missed my very important date with my cup of coffee. We got to church just as everyone was sitting & we crammed our family of seven inbetween two other sets of families at each end of a long pew. I wrestled my 3 year old the entire time as he did typical LOUD toddler things (totally winning because my cardio is complete for the day now). As I sat trying to listen to what message our priest was attempting to get through to us, I had a ground breaking moment. My kids are healthy, happy & well fed. My husband might think I’m insane 99% of the time but he adores me & has for some time. I get to sit in the pew listening to these amazing little people belt out the hymns to some of my favorite songs and I realized... this is truly one of the best times in my life. After five kids you’d think I’d have it together.  But really, do any of us? I’m convinced some of us are better at hiding our flaws. So as I write you all, I’m encouraging you (along with myself) to be kind to you. You might not know it but you’re doing a really great job momma & I’m here to remind you! No one can be you & you were put in to each of your babies lives for a reason. Hold your head up high & give yourself grace & I’ll do the same over here.
With all the love,
Jess

Hello all!
I’m Jessica, an OB nurse & mom to 5. My life is full of crazy but mostly wonderful. I have kids ranging from 3-12 years, one being severally autistic. I’m a lover of all things beauty & my family is number one. We love BIG, pray hard & I clean constantly! Our lives are crazy but we wouldn’t change a second!
Follow me @nursemommato5 on Instagram.
I look forward to our friendship❤️
Jessica