Trying to be still

”Be still and know I am God.” -Psalms 46:10

Anyone that knows me KNOWS I’m high energy. I don’t stay still for long and I lack patience. My job requires me to constantly run full speed and then I come home to my beautiful family & run some more. Making myself stop & be still often makes me crazy inside. I’ve been trying a new routine in my life & a huge factor is prayer. I’ve (most mornings) tried to start my day by waking up before my kids and taking a moment to sit in peace. I pray and read my devotional and try  to empty my mind of all the things ahead and just  “be still”. I’m the kind of woman that runs herself all day & then at night lies awake (as my husband snores peacefully🙄) and thinks of all that needs done the next day. I know better than anyone that this leads to exhaustion & anxiety. Does this help me to be a better mom or a better wife or nurse? Sitting in the morning drinking my coffee in the still, watching my kids laugh, love and play and seeing my husband come home & join our family after work always warms my soul. I need to sit & enjoy these thing and these people more.
My kids are pretty much the greatest humans on the planet. Don’t get me wrong, they push my buttons but there truly isn’t any greater joy than what they bring to me. We pray  at night after baths are done & teeth are brushed. We all pile into our giant bed that’s still too small for all of us. Together our family prays for each other, strangers, family & friends. There’s sweet giggles as we listen to our youngest learn to pray. His innocents & focus always amazes me even though he’s only three. He prays for people but mostly he takes his time & tells God about his day. Stories that sometimes go on and on. He teaches me not only patience but to be still. To pray to my God like no one else is waiting for me & no one and nothing else matters. To pray like a three year old is my new goal.
To all the moms that know too well where they lack. Look at your children & see how good you’re doing. Give yourself grace like your innocent child do. Pray more and join me in the morning when the house is quiet and God is listening and waiting for us to open our hearts and lives and be still.

With love,
Jess